Hello, Jonathan! (I'm part of the Atlanta Renovaré cohort and enjoyed a few meals in your company this past March.) I just finished reading your "Longing to Change" post and wanted to comment.
Thank you for sharing your story here, for describing some things so very familiar to me and now, I'm noticing, familiar to my kiddos as they grow …
Hello, Jonathan! (I'm part of the Atlanta Renovaré cohort and enjoyed a few meals in your company this past March.) I just finished reading your "Longing to Change" post and wanted to comment.
Thank you for sharing your story here, for describing some things so very familiar to me and now, I'm noticing, familiar to my kiddos as they grow up with a very similar approach to Christianity in our particular church community. I appreciate how you articulate the missing component in the context of Dallas's VIM model, and then how you invite reflection on the Threefold Way, which I'll admit to being unfamiliar with (other than having encountered the archaic language before--as I know floats your boat! =P).
I am in pain reading your stories, because they return me to my own pain. Such a desire for change, and such guilt, and such dearth of someone to show me the way. I really appreciated you painting the picture of your father reading, with his soft music, and the coffee, and how you enjoyed being in that space with him.
Is this Threefold Way an older way of describing what Dallas writes about in "Renovation of the Heart," Surrender-Abandon-Contentment-Participation, or something like that? Is it related at all to Henri Nouwen's three movements in "Reaching Out," to our innermost self, to our fellow human beings, to our God? I haven't taken the time to compare and ponder, just blabbing first thoughts.
I look forward to reading your book and seeing how you draw out the wisdom of our brothers and sisters of centuries past into something eminently understandable. I'm glad God captured you with Dallas's quote, and that this has sent you on the voyage it has. I'm curious how the learning you've done over the past twenty years has shaped the way you raise your kids. I feel like by the time I wrap my head around everything I'm learning, I may be able to influence my grandchildren. :P
The Threefold Way is a broader and more ancient articulation of the three essential stages of transformation. What Willard suggests with Surrender-Abandon-Contentment-Participation would definitely correlate, probably best to the purgative experience. In Reaching Out, Nouwen explores the transformational journey from the relational context, which is helpful and an interesting angle. From my studies, the Threefold Way is the broadest expression of the Christlike journey. I would think of Renovation of the Heart and Reaching Out as works that zoom-in on specific aspects of that journey, giving us more granularity, which is a wonderful thing!
At the beginning of my learning, my study was more self-focused. Transformation was my project, which is a typical purgative experience. I don't feel a lot of guilt about that, it's simply how we all begin our journey – self-centric instead of others-centric. But I will say that over time, I've noticed a change. Not drastically, but there's a difference. My learning seems to be leading me to deepen relationships, especially with those closest to me, like my kids and wife. Ultimately, learning or study should lead us to love. If it doesn't, then we're missing the point. But we have to actively wait for all of this. Transformation, by its very nature, requires time. And this is one of the important ways the virtue of patience is cultivated within us.
Here's something to keep in mind: It's not so much your transform-ed presence that influences your kids. It's your transform-ing presence. You don't need to arrive at some particular transformational destination to have a positive affect on your kids, to be on the journey (in front of them, with all the ups and the downs) is enough. It's powerful. Grace to you.
Hello, Jonathan! I read your response immediately and then was buried in the busyness of school year endings and family visits from far away. Thank you for your thoughtful reflections here. I especially appreciate what you said about transform-ing presence. That echoes the comforting picture of you in your dad's studying presence. I want to understand more of what you write about here and continue to look forward to that with your book. =)
So good to hear from you Sarah ... I remember a few of those meals ... that was a fun week for me. I wanted to say quickly how much I appreciate your thoughtful note. Thank you. I'm going to sit with it a few days and then respond more fully. In the meantime, I hope you have a restful weekend. Talk soon. Peace.
Hello, Jonathan! (I'm part of the Atlanta Renovaré cohort and enjoyed a few meals in your company this past March.) I just finished reading your "Longing to Change" post and wanted to comment.
Thank you for sharing your story here, for describing some things so very familiar to me and now, I'm noticing, familiar to my kiddos as they grow up with a very similar approach to Christianity in our particular church community. I appreciate how you articulate the missing component in the context of Dallas's VIM model, and then how you invite reflection on the Threefold Way, which I'll admit to being unfamiliar with (other than having encountered the archaic language before--as I know floats your boat! =P).
I am in pain reading your stories, because they return me to my own pain. Such a desire for change, and such guilt, and such dearth of someone to show me the way. I really appreciated you painting the picture of your father reading, with his soft music, and the coffee, and how you enjoyed being in that space with him.
Is this Threefold Way an older way of describing what Dallas writes about in "Renovation of the Heart," Surrender-Abandon-Contentment-Participation, or something like that? Is it related at all to Henri Nouwen's three movements in "Reaching Out," to our innermost self, to our fellow human beings, to our God? I haven't taken the time to compare and ponder, just blabbing first thoughts.
I look forward to reading your book and seeing how you draw out the wisdom of our brothers and sisters of centuries past into something eminently understandable. I'm glad God captured you with Dallas's quote, and that this has sent you on the voyage it has. I'm curious how the learning you've done over the past twenty years has shaped the way you raise your kids. I feel like by the time I wrap my head around everything I'm learning, I may be able to influence my grandchildren. :P
Thanks again for sharing this!
I'm back Sarah.
The Threefold Way is a broader and more ancient articulation of the three essential stages of transformation. What Willard suggests with Surrender-Abandon-Contentment-Participation would definitely correlate, probably best to the purgative experience. In Reaching Out, Nouwen explores the transformational journey from the relational context, which is helpful and an interesting angle. From my studies, the Threefold Way is the broadest expression of the Christlike journey. I would think of Renovation of the Heart and Reaching Out as works that zoom-in on specific aspects of that journey, giving us more granularity, which is a wonderful thing!
At the beginning of my learning, my study was more self-focused. Transformation was my project, which is a typical purgative experience. I don't feel a lot of guilt about that, it's simply how we all begin our journey – self-centric instead of others-centric. But I will say that over time, I've noticed a change. Not drastically, but there's a difference. My learning seems to be leading me to deepen relationships, especially with those closest to me, like my kids and wife. Ultimately, learning or study should lead us to love. If it doesn't, then we're missing the point. But we have to actively wait for all of this. Transformation, by its very nature, requires time. And this is one of the important ways the virtue of patience is cultivated within us.
Here's something to keep in mind: It's not so much your transform-ed presence that influences your kids. It's your transform-ing presence. You don't need to arrive at some particular transformational destination to have a positive affect on your kids, to be on the journey (in front of them, with all the ups and the downs) is enough. It's powerful. Grace to you.
Hello, Jonathan! I read your response immediately and then was buried in the busyness of school year endings and family visits from far away. Thank you for your thoughtful reflections here. I especially appreciate what you said about transform-ing presence. That echoes the comforting picture of you in your dad's studying presence. I want to understand more of what you write about here and continue to look forward to that with your book. =)
So good to hear from you Sarah ... I remember a few of those meals ... that was a fun week for me. I wanted to say quickly how much I appreciate your thoughtful note. Thank you. I'm going to sit with it a few days and then respond more fully. In the meantime, I hope you have a restful weekend. Talk soon. Peace.